Wearing no makeup with confidence

This is a much longer post but if you struggle to go out without makeup it is so worth your time. A very heart felt blog💞

Some women dont understand being ashamed of yourself without makeup and others do. I can say that I used to rely on my makeup for strength, to give me the confidence to leave home.

I have extreme undereye circles, hyperpigmented eyelids, a broken blood vessel under on what used to be, “my good side.” Right at the end of one of my savage dark circles.

I’m pale as hell with yellow undertones so my undereye circles leap out and so do my red eyelids. For years I had to at least dab concealer and a nude shadow over my lids. Or i could not leave. I remember always keeping concealer in my purse so no matter what my lids would be hidden.

I couldn’t go to walmart without foundation. Mascara, eyeliner, blush. None of those mattered. As long as my skin was covered. I remember crying myself to sleep wondering how my long term boyfriend could love me without makeup on. How he could love the black concaves sweeping under my red-rimmed eyes.

I’m a line cook. My job is very hot, I sweat a lot. When I first started I religiously wore foundation. I got made fun of by my male co-workers. I didn’t care. They would make fun of me more if they realized that I look like a drug addict underneath.

It was about a year and a half ago that I decided one day I was going to work with nothing on my face. The closest i came to nothing was concealer on my eyelids and concealer on my undereye circles. I was going to do it. I was going to work bare-faced. Wearing foundation at my job was ruining my skin and I had to break the habit.

I left my trusty concealer out of my purse, on the coffee table. I wasn’t going to let myself chicken out. I waited until the last minute and left.

I wasn’t feeling so bad as I initially made my way to work. Once I got within the last 5 minutes of my commute I started to panic. My hand shooting in my purse. Too bad what I wanted wasn’t there. I bit my lip, the only thing left to do was go into the building.

Nobody said anything as I walked inside. Maybe I don’t even look different without makeup. I wondered. Secretly pleased I made my way to the line to start my shift. Then a fellow cook who was opening dish came up to talk to me.

“Oh wow, did you not sleep? You look like you’re sick or something.” My heart plunged into my feet.

“No.” Was all I said. His opinion doesn’t matter anyway. I told myself. Even though his words cut through me like a knife. He was the only person who said something like that to me that day.

I decided the next day that I was going to work without makeup again. I did. Nobody said anything about how tired or sick I looked. I scrutinized other women’s faces who weren’t wearing makeup. Their undereye circles weren’t as bad as mine. It hurt to realize.

Slowly I started not wearing makeup to the store or to visit my parents and brothers. I still didn’t feel confident or beautiful with my dead eyes or broken blood vessel. I just continued to live without makeup on.

I never would have had the confidence to post the pictures in this blog two years ago. I have come so far. By venturing out into the world daily without makeup it slowly became second nature to me. Now I don’t hide my face or avert my gaze in public places. I hold my head high and don’t let my bare-face stop me.

I hope that I could inspire you to feel more comfortable in your own skin. You are all beautiful, your flaws are what complete your beauty.

If you like what you read please subscribe and take this journey with me💋

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How I did my makeup in high school

I remember the first time I did a winged eyeliner. I was 16 years old; I had just purchased my first eyeshadow. A black, glittery shadow by covergirl. Excitement bubbled inside me as I unwrapped the package📦.

A cheap sponge applicator came with the shadow and I eagerly pulled it out, holding it between my fingers like it was made of gold. Before the days of swiping away fall-out or preventing a mess by applying foundation after eyes.

I opened my package of triangle sponges. Yeah, those cheap shi* sponges that look like this. ⬇

Unscrewed the cap to my Dream Matte Mousse foundation in the shade Ivory and went to town. A thick, poorly blended layer on my face that went no further than my chin. Looking back i know I had the worst makeup line ever.

Foundation in place, no blush or powder to set it and keep it from sliding off my face. Just a tacky mess.

The eyeshadow! At last! Large chunks of glitter winked at me and I began. Taking the black I swiped it over my entire eyelid and up into my crease; pulling out the edge to create a very dramatic, very bluntly ended, wing. I followed with the other eye, which turned out lopsided and much thicker than the other side. No worries I would just make the other wing thicker. I went back in with the black eyeshadow. Repeated until my eyes looked like a crazy person did them.

I felt sexy and so scene. Now to really pull this look together with some eyeliner! I sharpened my pencil; the cheapest one that walmart had to offer, and made a ring around my eyes, following the horrific eyeshadow wing and making it even worse.

I snapped open my $1 red lipstick by cover girl and plastered it over my lips. “Oh yeah, girl!” Then topped the eyes off with 5… Yes 5 coats of mascara. Until my lashes were clumpy af and looked tarantula legs. Then more foundation to cover any fall out.

Now as I expertly flick my wing on an electric blue eyelid and perfectly blend my face with a beauty blender I laugh. I can not believe I used to walk around with black eyeshadow up to my damn eyebrows. Who wants to see a tutorial on how I did my makeup in high school? Comment below💋⬇

😂😂😂 oh my scene days

Makeup!

My journey, as I aspire into the world of makeup and beauty. I want to be different; I want to show myself and touch men and women, to inspire you all.

I’m Shatterstream, not my real name but it is in this world💋 I’m 25 years old. Please follow me on my journey to touch souls all over the world, through makeup💄

It’s true that I don’t have a lot of money

or a fancy job. I’m a line cook. I work knuckle deep in the filth and grime of the kitchen industry. I work my ass off to help my fiancé pay our bills. I work in a man’s world. But holy shit; I LOVE makeup!💄

I don’t get to wear foundation at my job. I rarely have time to apply eye makeup before my 8am departure. Plus it’s kind of a pain if you get sprayed in the eye by grease or something and have any makeup on. So alas, 5 days a week I am completely bare faced.

I get two days a week to go glam. A natural look? Maybe if I’m in a gigantic rush or feeling ill. I do the natural look 5 days straight. Let’s doll this shit up! ☝

I am so ready to share with you! This is the introduction to all that is to come. My goal is to be incredibly interactive with my audience. I want to hear you and speak to you!